Decompression

So, there's this time that comes up every year...  It falls just about...now, after the rigors of a full summer and the trauma of back-to-school.  It's a time when the weekends are now mostly empty, devoid of the overscheduled, over-traveled, over stimulated activities listed one on top of the other on my Google calendar at work.  It's a time when taking a deep breath (ahhhhhhhhh...) is the most amazing feeling in the world, a decompression following all the excitement, the rush, the panic.  And, mainly, it's the time that I've finished the DSANV calendar for the next year, just squeaking in under the deadline, edging closer and closer every year, for production in time for the upcoming Buddy Walk. 

I know that sounds awful.  Like it's a chore. 

It's a beautiful project, really, and it's not a chore, exactly, but after 7 years I no longer feel that passion, that excitement, that exhilaration of guiding the process to completion that I used to feel.  Everything waits until the last minute, when there's no more time left to spare, and all of my personal projects (ohhhh, such as...blogging, perhaps?) get put on the back burner, sitting idly by, lest guilt overwhelm me if I dare work on one of those without having done the calendar first.  So nothing gets done.  And I fall further and further behind. 

On everything.

But the files are finally with the printer, and I am no longer consumed with guilt for sitting down at my computer for a purpose other than that.  My computer is not the enemy, nor is the beautiful calendar.  My projects are no longer frivolous distractions. 

And I have now passed the calendar project on to another person, going forward.  Some fresh perspective is needed, a new vision.  And I'm excited to see what that will bring.  And I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to have done this for so long, to have been able to take it and run.

But feeling stale towards something is not a good thing, and definitely not fair to such a labor of love.  And I have loved it, and I do love it, and I want it to continue. 

And I'm excited to attempt to blog again, to break out my camera, which has been steadily gathering dust, to create this year's batch of Christmas-gift photo books (another long project!), to find my own creativity in any number of ways once again. 

By the time I post this, I will have the print proof in my hands to review - I am excited about that!  Once I can see it all put together, I am happy and relieved.  And for now, I will do normal weekend things.  I will play with my child.  I will soak in this beautiful sunshine instead of wishing for a rainy day to stay indoors and work on layout.  And I will think of some other way to volunteer my time with the local Down syndrome organization, preferably something that doesn't reach critical mass every summer.  :-)

Happy first day of Fall to everyone!