A New Lease

I received a reality check the other day.  Hot on the heels of feeling sorry for myself, complaining that I wasn't sure that anyone was still reading my blog anymore, in the middle of my whiny rant (which I then felt kind of guilty about so I quickly changed the subject to talk about something else completely unrelated), I learned that my blog does have value, that whatever I decide to write about, however mundane, self-indulgent, educational or, even, wordless, there are people listening, reading, getting something out of it. 

I'm sure somewhere I've known this all along, but there are times when we all doubt ourselves and our abilities.  Times when we feel like we need to re-evaluate, perhaps make changes, perhaps stay the course.  Times when we acknowledge that we are human, and have flaws.  Times when we just don't know what to say but open our mouths to talk anyway, if only just to hear our own voices.  Times when we don't have to say anything at all.

All of those times are okay.  We all know them, all go through them.  And the blogosphere is not immune.  Sure, our fingers do the talking, often digging deeper into our hearts and minds than our everyday, conscious, IRL selves would do, and sometimes that's what makes us more vulnerable to those doubts and re-evaluations. 

But the reality check I received was in the form of the comments left on that post, and one in particular. 

The one from a woman who has a prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome for her unborn child.

I know she's reading this, and I must apologize for singling her out, but she really made a big impact on me and gave me the kick-in-the-pants I needed to just keep on doing what I'm doing.  I now know that what I write, the stories I tell, even the ones that I don't think (or realize) are very interesting or thought-provoking, can make an impact on someone.  While I did not have a prenatal diagnosis with Samantha, I remember how important it was to me to have found the blogs about other children with Down syndrome after she was born.  It was that little peek into their lives that assured me that things would be okay, that I was not alone, that I could do this.  That our lives would be amazing, and full. 

I've got a new lease on blogging, and promise to carry on as before.  I enjoy it.  And I feel good knowing that others enjoy it, too.

Thanks for listening.  :-)