Sunday, May 8, 2011

Being a Mother


When I was younger, through my teenage years, I swore up and down that I would never bear a child.  That must have started just after learning how babies made their entrance into the world, and my lasting thoughts were "no way, no how!"  I stated that if I decided I wanted a child, adoption would be the way to go.  Let someone else go through that...

That feeling eventually shifted.  I remember clearly when it did.  Sounds strange, but it was the spring of my Sophomore year at college.  I recall sitting in my English lit class, struggling to stay focused as I drew flowers all over the margins of my notebook in my purple ball-point pen (I loved that pen).  I felt it a little odd that I was doing something so random, so different from the geometric shapes I usually found myself doodling.  On a whim, I looked it up (uh, somewhere, it couldn't have been online, though, since the internet didn't exist yet!) and discovered that it was a sign of fertility.  Interesting, considering it seemed that my thoughts had been shifting as well, and I didn't quite care how a baby arrived, only that I wanted one. 

It wasn't until 18 years later that I eventually conceived and gave birth to what I know is the most special gift I could ever have been given.  A daughter.  And not just any daughter - the most beautiful, bright, fun, sweet, shining star that ever fell to earth.  And she was perfect, extra 21st chromosome and all. 

This post isn't about Down syndrome, it's about motherhood.  Samantha's birth and addition to our family was the perfect culmination of everything I knew I was meant to do in my life.  Everything I do is for her.  A friend of mine who had a baby before me always said that once a child is born, it's not about you anymore.  Truer words were never spoken.  I never thought it would be, and I would certainly hope that would be the case for mothers everywhere (those mothers who don't feel that way honestly shouldn't have children).  I could say so much more here, like how being a mother has taught me to love completely unconditionally, but I'll leave it at that, and keep it short and sweet for now.

My mother brought me up right.  While she was very young when she had me, she had the values and the instinctual know-how to be a GREAT mother.  I know you won't read this post today or probably for a few more weeks Mom (she's travelling without internet access through Europe), but when you do, know that I'm thinking of you today and want to wish you a very Happy Mother's Day!! 

And Happy Mother's Day to all mothers out there.  We have done some pretty spectacular things, and deserve to have a day just for us!

11 comments:

Sally Carter said...

Great post! Completely with you there, only I was never getting married either. No. Way. Happy Mother's Day to you too!

Chromosomally Enhanced said...

Happy Mother's Day...hope you are having a wonderful day!! smiles

Jenny said...

Love this picture of you and Sammi! Happy Mothers Day :)

Rochelle said...

Happy Mother's Day to you! Love the pic, I hadn't ever seen you! Beautiful, no wonder Sammi is such a knockout!

Kelli said...

Loved this post!! Happy Mother's Day :)

Amy Flege said...

awww love your post and so glad you had sammi! i hope your mothers day is the best!

Debbie @ Three Weddings said...

I was the complete opposite. From as early as I can remember all I ever wanted was to get married and have children. Funny thing is, although I love my girls and wouldn't change a thing, motherhood is not what I expected. I'm not the mom I thought I would be but I'm still happy to be a mom. Still totally worth it. Happy Mother's Day!

stephanie said...

Beautiful!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Mothers Day!!

mama to j and bean said...

Beautiful! (wipes tear)

And so relatable for me. Like you, my mother had me young. Like you, I never wanted children until I was just about to marry. Like you, I am blessed with beautiful, amazing children. And like you, my mother taught me how to be the best mother I can be.

Happy Mother's Day and thank you for sharing!

Jeanette said...

Becca. This is a great post! Sammi is getting so big and still flippin gorgeous! Happy belated Mother's Day to you.

evrfwd said...

very well put! And by the way, Sammi is very lucky to have you as a mommy! oxox