MIA and the Reciprocation of Guilt

I've been a bit (okay, a lot) MIA lately.  And before I go further here, I'd like to add that any time I read a blog that starts with those same words (rather frequent these days...), I roll my eyes as they begin to glaze over, then click the little X up in the corner so fast it would make your head spin. 

Feel free to do the same.

But back to my original point, in the last 6 months or so, I have felt that if I can't take the time to read the blogs of other people, to comment and show my support, then I have no right to expect the same from them.  I'm just not worthy.  If I can't read blogs, I shouldn't be writing one.  Something I learned several years ago is that if you show the love by commenting, others will do so in return, if for no other reason than the fact that you've laid the groundwork for a nice, healthy guilt trip.  So the reaction to guilt is a reciprocation of guilt.  If that makes sense. 

I comment, they comment, I comment again, because they commented, they comment again because I commented because they commented because I commented, and so on and so on.  And then I have new "friends!"  I like to see comments on my blog posts.  Makes me feel like I've accomplished something, even if it's just in the trade of the guilty consciences.  Not like I quantify my worth or the worth of my words, stories and photos by the number of comments I receive, but there is something rather nice about it. 

If I keep on writing and don't read other blogs, will the comments/readers completely stop?  Will they dry up and go away merely because I am so caught up in my own selfish ramblings?  Will they continue as they have always done because, if I'm wrong, nobody really cares if I'm reading their blogs or not?  I must say, I certainly don't expect reciprocation when I comment.  But sometimes it does serve to remind people that I'm still here.  Sometimes.  I mean, sometimes I'm here, not sometimes it reminds them, although I'm sure it sometimes reminds them, too...

So I'd like to say I'm going to continue on as normal.  I'd like to say I still have time for writing, even if I don't have time for reading.  But the truth is, life is busy, and my time spent on computers (like, real computers, not my cell phone) when not at work doing work things on computers, is scarce.  Especially since my treadmill, that sweet friend that has captured my morning "me-time," still calls to me like a siren from the deep basement.

I also just need to come up with something to write about.  I could dive into the issues with school, but so many people surrounding Sammi at school actually read this blog (uh, or used to read it, back when I was still writing it with some regularity), so I tread lightly there.  I certainly knew that day would come.  I could just start posting photos, could start getting into current events, figure out something topical and of interest.  Not so easy, when our lives are pretty ordinary (quick note to any new moms of children with Down syndrome - you may not believe it yet, but most of your lives will become pretty ordinary, too!).

So, if you've braved this post here to the end, thank you.  And please, please stick around.  I'm trying, really, I am, and have a few posts lined up.  I'd like to start again, woo and court you back into my embrace, because I love and value you all. 

:::smooooooch:::