Monday, January 27, 2014

MIA and the Reciprocation of Guilt

I've been a bit (okay, a lot) MIA lately.  And before I go further here, I'd like to add that any time I read a blog that starts with those same words (rather frequent these days...), I roll my eyes as they begin to glaze over, then click the little X up in the corner so fast it would make your head spin. 

Feel free to do the same.

But back to my original point, in the last 6 months or so, I have felt that if I can't take the time to read the blogs of other people, to comment and show my support, then I have no right to expect the same from them.  I'm just not worthy.  If I can't read blogs, I shouldn't be writing one.  Something I learned several years ago is that if you show the love by commenting, others will do so in return, if for no other reason than the fact that you've laid the groundwork for a nice, healthy guilt trip.  So the reaction to guilt is a reciprocation of guilt.  If that makes sense. 

I comment, they comment, I comment again, because they commented, they comment again because I commented because they commented because I commented, and so on and so on.  And then I have new "friends!"  I like to see comments on my blog posts.  Makes me feel like I've accomplished something, even if it's just in the trade of the guilty consciences.  Not like I quantify my worth or the worth of my words, stories and photos by the number of comments I receive, but there is something rather nice about it. 

If I keep on writing and don't read other blogs, will the comments/readers completely stop?  Will they dry up and go away merely because I am so caught up in my own selfish ramblings?  Will they continue as they have always done because, if I'm wrong, nobody really cares if I'm reading their blogs or not?  I must say, I certainly don't expect reciprocation when I comment.  But sometimes it does serve to remind people that I'm still here.  Sometimes.  I mean, sometimes I'm here, not sometimes it reminds them, although I'm sure it sometimes reminds them, too...

So I'd like to say I'm going to continue on as normal.  I'd like to say I still have time for writing, even if I don't have time for reading.  But the truth is, life is busy, and my time spent on computers (like, real computers, not my cell phone) when not at work doing work things on computers, is scarce.  Especially since my treadmill, that sweet friend that has captured my morning "me-time," still calls to me like a siren from the deep basement.

I also just need to come up with something to write about.  I could dive into the issues with school, but so many people surrounding Sammi at school actually read this blog (uh, or used to read it, back when I was still writing it with some regularity), so I tread lightly there.  I certainly knew that day would come.  I could just start posting photos, could start getting into current events, figure out something topical and of interest.  Not so easy, when our lives are pretty ordinary (quick note to any new moms of children with Down syndrome - you may not believe it yet, but most of your lives will become pretty ordinary, too!).

So, if you've braved this post here to the end, thank you.  And please, please stick around.  I'm trying, really, I am, and have a few posts lined up.  I'd like to start again, woo and court you back into my embrace, because I love and value you all. 

:::smooooooch:::

  

11 comments:

Jenny said...

Totally get what you're saying here! I actually disabled my comments on my blog a while back, for a few reasons...But one of which was I didn't want people to feel obligated to leave a comment. I don't leave a comment on every single post I read, and when I do it's not so I get a comment back on one of my posts.
I say, write the way you always have...It doesn't have to "wow" anyone. Those of us who follow your blog do so because we are interested in your life...We like to hear what you have to say about anything. And you shouldn't stop writing because you don't have time to read others blogs. That's silly. Just keep doing what you're doing and don't feel guilty :)

Lisa said...

I'm with ya - except I haven't made time to post in two months I think. I promise to keep commenting on your blog because I love hearing what you have to say.

Leah said...

Totally ditto what Jenny said. I go group phases if writing and not. Reading and not, commenting and not. It's all OK and I think a lot if us will still read you because we are interested.

Deborah said...

I read blogs all the time, and I rarely comment. I'm a lurker at heart. :) I always enjoy when your posts pop up in my blog reader. No need to comment on (or even read) my occasional blog posts - I will hang out here anyway.

wendy said...

Totally understand. I don't always leave comments but I do enjoy reading your blog.

Anna Theurer said...

I completely understand what you are saying! Then the times I try to comment, it is usually on my iPad and it hates the commenting thing. I type the whole comment and then it won't publish. Then I too lazy/frustruated to try again. I say keep on posting and try not too hard to worry about the comments :-)

lovemy3 said...

I'm really bad about commenting. I generally comment on FB because it's easier when I'm on the ipad. I go in spells, too. I may not read anything for a week and then I'll sit down and read 20 in one day.

gps said...

Yikes, I thought only small-pike bloggers like me thought this way.... I thought once you are a popular blogger, you don't worry about where your next traffic is coming from.

Deanna said...

I've gotten to a point where time is so limited that reading blogs has become a rare luxury! But writing..my therapy escape! I comment when I can but don't let myself feel guilty when I can't! I hope you do keep writing. No guilt if you can't read/comment yourself. Life gets in the way sometimes!

Mardra said...

Can I just say I haven't even opened the Christmas Cards I received in the mail because I never sent my own. *Issues*
So - I suggest not following down my unhealthy path.
I also suggest reading when you can and writing more than that :)
- Ms

Kerri Ames said...

It took me a long time to realize that to get people to read your blog you had to comment on theirs. Then I realized I write more for my own sanity and to have someone comment just to get me to comment back seemed, well too much work! But I'm glad your back and never feel neglected when stuff that is important, like your life, gets in the way :)