Freaking Out, Just a Little

I'm a little nervous today.  Like, little pools of anxiety are swirling around in the pit of my stomach, unsettled, pleading for mercy from the control-freak side of my nature. 

Samantha has gone on a field trip.

+

Steve and I have gone to work, no extra vacation time to spare.

=

Worry that she's on a looooong bus ride, with someone other than myself or Steve driving, through rush hour traffic, towards the City, then outwards to Mt. Vernon.

I mean, I love that she's going to Mt. Vernon - it's a very cool history lesson that may bring about some clarity for her concept-deficiency.  What I mean by that is that while my kid is smart, learns concrete lessons that can be made tangible, directly in front of her, concepts are very challenging. 

Think about it...as an example, you can say that George Washington, former resident of Mt. Vernon, was the first President of the United States.  But how do you explain what a president is?  What the United States is?  Former resident?  He may well have just moved out of that house last week.  She can memorize facts.  George Washington was the first President of the United States.  We live in the United States.  But it doesn't make any of that make any more sense.  I'm hoping that the trip to Mt. Vernon will at least provide some more tangible, concrete understanding of what life was like a long time ago, but the concept of time is difficult for her, too.  Show her a carriage house and tell her that horse and carriage were how people traveled a long time ago, and she will likely understand only that it's a means of transportation that could well have been employed just yesterday. 

Back to my worry, though, I don't love that she's going so far away without us. 

I'm not worried about her behavior - I suspect she'll be just fine.

I'm worried about the drive.  I know how Washington commuters are...  I know that school busses don't have seat belts...

I wish she had a cell phone so she could call me when she got there to let me know the trip was fine.

It's hard enough getting a sitter for your baby for the first time.  It's hard enough sending your kid off to school for the first time.  It's hard watching your child grow and become independent in so many ways, when just yesterday they were only a tiny, helpless baby, needing you for every aspect of their care - bittersweet.

Sometimes you just have to let go and trust...

I acknowledge that I'm a control freak.  Isn't admission of a problem the first step in the program?