Thursday, January 17, 2013

Little Accomplishments and the Minimization of Struggle

Sometimes I can be a little impatient when it comes to Samantha.  It's nothing against her, but aside from weekends, the bulk of the time we have together is highly deadline-driven, and, let's face it, the kid can move at the speed of molasses when she knows I'm trying to hurry.  I feel bad, rushing, rushing, rushing her, and have to be careful not to miss the milestone accomplishments that she may be able to show me, that I don't give her a chance to. 

I mean, how much easier and faster is it to just dress her myself, brush her teeth myself, wipe her butt myself, zip her coat myself?  A whole lot, and when I'm determined to keep her perfect attendance record at school, I like to give us plenty of leeway.  We now have a few new routines, where I let her finish whatever book she's reading before she gets dressed/comes down for breakfast/whatever (as opposed to me threatening to take it away from her...oops, Mommy fail...), and I let her brush her teeth/wash her face in the mornings, with me doing it in the evenings (just to be sure her teeth are clean enough...).  It makes for a much more copacetic start to the day, with Samantha more than happy to comply.  I guess struggles often come from a lack of compromise, an inability to figure out which battles to pick.  When I say that, it makes it sound like it's all my inflexibility, but she's a growing girl with a growing sense of independence, and I have to accept and accomodate that in ways I'm just not used to.   

The other day, a day when I built a bit of extra time into our morning routine, she showed me something I had no idea she could do.  Now how long has she been keeping this little gem to herself, eh? 

 
 
 

11 comments:

Leah said...

I love those surprises! Sometimes it'd hard to be patient enough to wait for them to do it themselves, isn't it? Especially when you think they're not ready. I love the surprises, and I feel guilty that I didn't expect them, but at the same time, I think that every parent goes through that... The amazing unraveling of our children showing off what they can do!

The Sumulong 3 said...

I'm right there with you! I try really hard not do everything for Owen when I know he's capable of doing certain things, but clearly not at my speed. I know I need to back off and give him the time and space to do it himself--I'm working on it!!

Love that she can zip her coat--hooray!

Lisa said...

Awesome! Cate isn't even close yet but I doubt anyone gives her much opportunity to practice just like your issue we are always in a hurry.

Monique said...

I struggle with this also as we are always running late!! I have to remind myself I am doing my kiddo a diservice when I do that.

wendy said...

I am right there with you. Especially this week I have been reminding myself to try things in here speed not mine! Hooray,Hooray for zipping her coat!

Chromosomally Enhanced said...

Yeah! Way to go Sammi...I am so the same way...I am very crazy about time and I forget that the kids can do for themselves! But it is so hard to watch the milk spill! Smiles

Rochelle said...

YAY Sammi you are a little gem of your own.

Jenny said...

Yaay for zipping her own coat up, that's awesome!! And I was impatient with all my kids at that age. Like you said, it's just easier and faster to do it on your own. I have had to really loosen up the past little while with Russell because I realize him being able to do things himself, and having the time to learn it, is very important to him.
Love the smile on Sammi's face, she looks very proud :)

Anonymous said...

Way to go, Sammi! My LO can zip the coat but not start the zipper connection at the bottom.

Jess said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets frustrated and rushes kids through said events. I actually used to let Ciena do a lot on her own but then I became incredibly overwhelmed with 1) how much time it took causing her to be late for the bus almost every day and 2) she would some things...weirdly, in a way that didn't quite make sense and then I would get mad.

Good job for Becca zipping her coat! That's a big deal!

April Vernon said...

Adam knows he gets more help when we are in a rush & he milks it for all its worth. Yesterday he asked if I'd put his shoes on "since we're in a rush." I need to slow down and see what BOTH of my boys can do if simply given enough time.