The Blogging Caterpillar

In looking back into recent blog posts, I have realized that there is a definite shortage of photos of Samantha.  Shocking, I know.  I mean, what is wrong with me?  A whole summer goes by, and results in a mere handful of images?  In retrospect, while I do wish I'd gotten more, it was also somewhat freeing not to have to carry my camera around, schlepping from pool to beach to party...  And the time away from producing posts full of photographic filler actually made me think a bit more about what I've been actually writing in my blog, perhaps refining my topics some. 

The topic of reasons people blog has come up a few times recently in different fora (plural for *forum,* although "forums" is still acceptable - I checked Wiki, so I know...).  Some people blog as a stepping stone to writing a book.  Some blog for pure-hearted altruistic reasons, raising awareness or funds for causes that are important to them.  Some blog as a way to keep family and friends in the loop of their every-day activities.  Some blog to stretch their creative wings, either through visual or written art.  Some blog to gain support for their business.  So many purposes, so much flexibility.  And to think, just 5 1/2 years ago I didn't even know what a blog was.  My boss at the time was talking about holding a blogging event in the local park to raise awareness about and build visitorship to the DC neighborhood she oversaw.  I managed my previously-perfected nod and smile reaction, pretending I was more worldly and internet-savvy than I was, to save face.  Blogging event?  Whatever would they say, what would those weird people sitting in the park with their computers actually be doing?

And I'm happy to say that I do finally know now.

I blog for a variety of reasons.  I feel like a caterpillar, slowly shifting form over time, changing and growing, finding my wings, so to speak.  The evolution of my blog has taken me from one stage to the next, building my confidence from the drab here's-what-we-did-today format to a concerted focus on Samantha's development, to a jump to other Down-syndrome-related topics, to allowing myself the freedom of blogging about whatever-I-feel-like-blogging-about, Down syndrome or not, to thinking more carefully about my choices of words, my sentence structure, the input of my own personal thoughts, feelings and emotions, finding my own voice. 

And have I found it?

Am I a butterfly yet?

Not even close.  Nor do I think I will ever fully unfurl a set of color-emblazoned wings to fly high and free.  I still bow to some convention, still hide from some truths.  I still have so much to learn, so much more to see and do.  When I was the boss at my job, doling out performance reviews to my staff, I never gave anyone top scores.  If I had, what else would they have to reach for?  Nobody is ever truly at the top.  There's always room for improvement, room for growth.  I choose to continue to grow, to learn from others, to try to write what pleases me and what others will want to read.  And I'm sure the caterpillar in me will continue to morph, slowly, deliberately, to better itself, taking the blog on a ride to who knows where.

And, with that, I leave you with the Child-of-a-Million-Nicknames, my one, true butterfly, Samantha.