Sunday, November 13, 2011

Biting the Bullet

I probably could have come up with some clever title referring to cutting or ties, (or both), or The First Cut is the Deepest, but really, the moment of steely willpower I had to muster, that gritting of the teeth and holding my breath and convincing myself that it was the best thing to do, biting that bullet and trying not to scream really summed it up so much more clearly and realistically for me. 

I did it.

For the first time in 17-days-shy-of-5 1/2-years, I did it.

I trimmed Samantha's hair.


It was never about the length.  I think it had more to do with the symbolic nature of the act, I guess I felt that it should be more ceremonial.  This was, after all, the hair that she was born with, that very hair that the doctor delivering her was so amazed by, the hair that never actually fell out, as it does in so many other babies.  Granted, the ends have been so ratty for so long, that most of what was in existence when Samantha came into this world has probably long-since broken off and disappeared into carpets and playgrounds across the region. 

I only took off about 3 inches.  As a matter of fact, you can't even tell, really, other than by looking at how smooth and shiny the new ends are.  She can actually still sit on it, which I don't necessarily think is a good thing...

Has this made me brave?  Nah, I don't think so.  But it has given me a wee bit of confidence, especially since I told her what I was going to do, and showed her afterwards, and she reacted with interest, not fear (as I, myself, had feared).  Has it made her brave?  Sheesh, I certainly hope not!  My biggest worry now is that she will think it's okay to try cutting her hair herself. 

Maybe it's time for a little talk...

And one day, when she's old enough to comprehend the act and make the decision herself, I'm hoping we'll cut with the intent of donating her golden tresses to Locks of Love, allowing her to give some of her beautiful hair to someone that needs it.

13 comments:

Cathy said...

I bet it looks pretty! Where's the after picture??? :)

krlr said...

(blogger just froze so apologies if this is a repeat).

Big day! I don't know if I should offer my sympathies or congratulations. Perhaps both, I'm guessing?

Rochelle said...

Locks of love would love to have her donation! Great idea!

Alicia said...

congrats to the brave mom!!! ill try to make Eva's hair grow, dont know how much but lets see how momma can handdle it, :)

how did Sammi react? i mean too much time without having a hair cut, must be wondering what is going on??

miradoro1 said...

Way to go, Becca! I knew you could do it...
When I mentioned a little hair cutting to Samantha the other day, she seemed only mildly interested: "Mommy cut my hair?"

Erin said...

Long hair is always hard to cut. I'm about to cut mine and donate to Locks of Love and I'm looking forward to it!

teal915 said...

You might want to keep the scissors hid for a while lol. Good job, mom. Sounds like it was rougher on you than her : )

Rob Monroe said...

Congrats! You did it! We got it out of the way early, but now Abby is going the opposite direction and wants Rapunzel hair. :)

Pallavi said...

Yeah where is the after picture..

Golden hair reminds me of Rapunzel.. :) Sammy is one

Hey, in your older posts you told how those short round hair cuts make DS too much visible . That is the reason why I even I want Navya to have long hair.. The middle stage of hair growing is so messy, we have been tempted to cut. But this time I am determined to let it grow. and I guess we are through that messy phase.. let's see...

Team Lando said...

If sweet Sammi did locks of love, that might be the greatest thing in the world. I'm impressed that you got a trim done so easily! Now hide the scissors...

Becca said...

Pallavi - not that it makes the Ds more visible, but that it fills a dated, negative stereotyped image of people w/Down syndrome. Back when they were institutionalized as a matter of course, I think that hair style was very practical for institutional purposes, if I'm not mistaken.

Meriah said...

Yes, "after" picture, please!!
Ps I adore Locks of Love

Melissa said...

Claire has only had one tiny haircut to help even out the long on the top with the growing in at the back. I didn't like doing it either since it was her baby hair too.