Friday, July 1, 2011

Terror From the Sky

It was a scene straight out of a horror movie...family consisting of husband, wife and young daughter arrive at a dark house in the New Jersey back woods at dusk.  The air is thick and warm as they turn off the car's engine and open the doors to get out.  Suddenly, they are attacked!  Huge, black spindly-legged vampires descend on them from the sky, swooping in for the kill, prepared to siphon off every last drop of bodily fluid from the terrified mortals.  They run for the house, hands flailing above their heads, frantically and futilely trying to fight them off.  The house is locked.  The key they had been told would be there waiting for them was nowhere to be found.  They search everywhere, anxious and terrified.  No key.  Not anywhere.  Look again!!  Try the table/plant pot/chair cusion/tree/rock/step/bird feeder/flower patch/frog pond/wood pile!!  It's got to be there!  No key...  Desperate, terrified, full of dread and running out of time, they realize that they cannot get to the safety of the house.  Running for the gazebo, they fling themselves inside, slamming the door behind them, against the onslaught.  The wife, reluctantly leaving the husband and daughter huddled in the tiny, screened-in porch, runs back to the car, slams the door against the angry creatures (oh no!  there are two inside!), and drives to a neighbor's house for help.  The neighbor would know where the key is, for sure...  They don't.  But they know who does.  Calling their source, receiving no answer, they leave a message and then tell the anxious wife to go back and gather her family and return to their house for refuge until the phone call from the source could be returned and she could come to the rescue.  Wife gets back into the car, and returns to the scene of the carnage, motioning for her family to come back and join her.  Waving a blanket around their heads, the husband and the daughter run out of the gazebo back to the car, telling stories of unspeakable horror - the gazebo screens had holes...  Suddenly her phone rings, and it's the neighbor with news of the key's location.  Mercifully, it's found, and they are able to run to safety once again, in the dark, hot confines of the house, door slammed against those thirsty, relentless ones, still trying to get in.

(This is not one of mine...nicked off the internet...)

Growing up in New Jersey, it was always a well-known fact that the state bird is the mosquito.  I'm serious.  If you have ever seen a South Jersey mosquito, you would know exactly where I'm coming from.  And if you have ever seen a swarm of them rushing you like brides-to-be at the Filene's wedding dress sale, you'd feel the terror we felt upon arriving at that house this past weekend.  And especially for Steve, who happens to be quite allergic to mosquito bites, with reactions like massive swelling that lasts for weeks, fevers, and joint pain not unlike typical flu symptoms.

What purpose could these creatures (and ticks...) possibly have in the ecosystem?  Surely birds have plenty of other meal options, don't they?

All I could think about was the two of us showing up at my class reunion tonight covered in massive red spots.  A definite way to clear a room, right?  Miraculously, only one bite was sustained, on Steve's head.  And miraculously, it didn't seem to affect him this time.   

This will be an experience we will talk about for many years to come...


 

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness! I totally hear 'ya! I didn't grow up in NJ but the mosquitos in Wyoming are blood sucking Pterodactyls who follow you down the street.

Anna said...

oh, I agree!(dont even get me started on ticks- after suffering from Lyme disease!) And fire ants too! Each time we go blueberry picking I end up with a few more bites to add to the ones that are finally healing.....

Jenny said...

Ahh, we have a TON out here!! And wherever you have a ton of mosquitos you have a ton of bats!! As soon as the sun starts going down we have hundreds of bats swooping around...And for all those people who think bats do NOT run into people, HA, you are WRONG, they do and its gross!

doozee said...

We can't stay downstairs past dusk because of them skeeters. But still. Way better than Fiji and the South Pacific, where they leave welts the size of Maine and won't stop till you look like you have a rare and highly contagious disease. And even then they won't stop.

Zoey's mom said...

Upstate New York for 26 years .. have seen my share of these nasty little buggers.None to speak of in California though.At least in our area... thank goodness.Don't miss them.

Hope your reunion was a blast!