Monday, August 30, 2010

Absence Makes the Mom Feel Guiltier

I had a rather exciting opportunity this weekend, thanks to my wonderful husband. Not that exciting for most people, but you moms sure do know what I’m talking about. I went to my friend’s party up near Baltimore and spent the night without Samantha. I would have taken her (and Steve), but he suggested that I go on my own so I could relax a bit and socialize instead of having to chase her around and keep her entertained. Believe it or not, this was the first night I have ever spent away from her since she was 3 months old when I attended a 2-day conference for work up in Philadelphia.

And I really missed her. And I felt guilty and selfish. Not that I didn’t have a good time, because I really did. There was something quite liberating about being able to go into whatever room I wanted, to wander around outside, to talk to whomever I wanted and catch up with some old friends. But I wished I had my little buddy there with me.

The premise of the party was also a concert (which I’ll get to in a minute). Children were invited, and I figured there’d be 2 or 3 there. There were more like 15 or 20. It was pretty insane. But I got to be the one watching. I watched all the other parents chasing their kids, and felt some peace of mind. But more importantly, I realized that Sammi would have fit in pretty darn well!  This is a pretty huge admission for me, actually.  So many times I’ve gone to parties full of “typical” children and felt the vast separation of the great divide that is called “do-not-compare-your-child’s-development-to-that-of-others-or-you’ll-be-miserable” pretty strongly, but the mix of children was a bit more broad than usual (or is it that she’s matured so much in the last year?). I definitely missed her. Funny how you can crave some alone time, but it just makes you miss your family even more.  As soon as I got back home on Sunday I snatched her up and took her to a local village fair.  She was pretty miserable (it was hot, and she had just woken from a nap), but I was just happy to be with her.  Here she is cuddling her best buddy, Olivia, and her ancient and tattered "blankie" on the ride home from the fair.

About the concert - apparently it’s pretty popular for up-and-coming musicians (signed and otherwise) to perform at house parties to supplement their regular gig income. Kat Parsons is one such artist. Her website is an excellent source of information for people considering hosting such a party. There’s just something so much more intimate about listening to live music in a living room (or in the yard, as it was on Saturday night). Kat has an incredible voice, and is just so personable, and it was a real pleasure to listen to her. I would have bought her cd, but didn’t have any cash on me, as usual. If any of you get a chance to catch her somewhere, don’t miss that opportunity!

By the way, for those of you that may have wondered what’s going on with Samantha’s obsession with Santa Claus, Steve and I have been careful not to mention him to her and after a few days she did stop asking when Santa was coming. Now she’s just asking to go to the beach. In a week and a half, baby, I promise. Hang in there!


My Family said...

so glad you had a good time. It is nice to get away but i admit i miss my kiddos too when im away

JRS said...

Yes! I love this post and have experienced the same feelings in my own life. Very nicely written Becca. Glad you got a chance to get away for a little while and yes, you are married to a heck of a guy.

Lacey said...

Oh I know what you mean! My hubby is good to always force me to go out without the kids. But I'm dreading going to Ukraine without Jax. Momma is the only one that knows what he really loves. I'm going to have papers up everywhere to make sure people know what comforts him, since he can't tell people!

Anne and Whitney: Up, Down and All Around said...

glad you had a fun weekend and so jealous about your upcoming beach trip :)

Kelli said...

Keep me posted about when you're going to the beach! :)

Renee said...

When I have a chance to ger away I find the first 24 hours the hardest. So you just did the hard part! After that it gets easier. I guess because I get used to it a little.

Kristi said...

Good for YOU! I am like you, very hard for me to leave mine (which I haven't overnight yet, the baby anyway) but when I do get away, I do feel refreshed. And I also remember having that "A-ha" moment of watching other people c hasing their kids around. It's ALL kids, typically developing and non-typically developing. But it's nice to see we are not alone!
It's funny you should mention the concert because I believe my son's music therapist does this, she is a very talented musician and plays all over too. I'm sure it was awesome! :)