Preschool Rant (Probably to be the First of Many...)

Today I experienced a very unfamiliar pang. One that I know I will feel again and again, as we begin to turn a corner in Samantha’s schooling. I think I should have always known it was coming, but ignorance can truly be bliss for me. I felt it not once, but twice today. It was the feeling that all will not necessarily be right with the world for Samantha. She will not be able to just waltz in anywhere and use her charms to get whatever she wants. She will not be afforded every opportunity presented to typically-developing children/teens/adults. She will be denied. She will be looked upon as lacking. As a mother, these slaps of reality do not sit well. They bring up anxiety and fear, and most of all, anger. Anger at injustices. Anger at prejudices and ignorance. Anger at exclusion.

Now, I have not actually spoken to either of the people that angered me today. But I can imagine what they’re thinking. Actually, when I imagine what they’re thinking, I start to realize that they may just be feeling fear. They don’t necessarily know what to do, how things are, how to react. And I guess I can’t fault them for that.

We’re looking into supplementing Samantha’s special education preschool in the public school system with private preschool, putting her into public three days a week, and in private, two. The next school year is incredibly important for her, as it will be her final preparation for entry into Kindergarten. I want her to get more exposure to her typically-developing peers so she can be better-prepared socially for the transition. As such, we’ve begun to look into some of the preschool programs available to us. We’re fairly specific about when we want her in the typical class (morning sessions, two days a week), so I’ve begun to send feelers out to some of the preschools to see who offers that kind of program.

Steve spoke to one woman this morning who was very quick to point out that she’s “not a special education teacher!” He calmly and emphatically told her that that’s exactly the point. She kept repeating it, I guess thinking that perhaps he wasn’t understanding her, and he again made his point, trying to explain our situation. Her reaction both angers and concerns me. There are plenty of children with special needs of all sorts that go to typical preschools. Is she that green as a teacher that perhaps she has never had the experience of a “special” child in her class? Is she just afraid? Or was she trying to discourage us due to innate prejudices?

I sent out some e-mails inquiring about the programs at several of the local preschools. I got one reply stating that they don’t do a 2-day-per-week morning program (just 3 or 5), and that “Due to the ratios and the academic nature of our classrooms, we also usually do not take children with special needs.” Hmph. I guess I should have expected to see that at some point. But I had only stated that Sammi was in the special education preschool in the public school system, not specifying why. There are a lot of children in her class that just have speech delays, no real special needs. Is the assumption generally that children in special ed automatically have special needs? I guess to an outsider it would...? And maybe I should just admit that she’s right to deny her, given the student-to-teacher ratio, but I’m a bit offended all the same.

Okay, rant over. Back to regularly scheduled programming.