...except this sweet, silly, smoochable little face. Happy Friday!
Friday, February 10, 2012
Thursday, February 9, 2012
In Search of Perfection: OCD and Down Syndrome
Somewhere, embedded in the extra chromosome that graces the genetic makeup of our children, there is a little compartment labeled, in neatly-organized organic matter-type letters, "Perfectionism," and I don't mean the kind that just says our kids are perfect (which they ARE!). I'm pretty sure they all have it. Somewhere. Although, in anticipating some of your responses about how messy or disorganized your children are, I'll venture to say that that little "compartment" may not have been accessed just yet...
First of all, I have not done any research into this topic, although I'm sure plenty of data exists. But leaving it up to individual experiences and heresay is so much more fun, don't you think? And trust me, if I thought there was a problem, I'd be all over the web in a hot second to find out more from that expert data, wherever it may lie.
Samantha likes to have order in her life. Advanced warning of things-to-come is key to a smooth transition from activity to activity, and following the rules on how things should be, or how she thinks things should be (often based on something she'd observed us doing on at least one occasion, whether right or...gasp...wrong...) is just something she does (okay, not always, but most of the time). Especially when we've given her some sort of reasoning as to why something should be done a certain way. Telling her that a seatbelt needs to be on so she can be safe (thank you, Dora!) is a very compelling reason, and she's obsessively gung-ho about it, to the point where she yells for me to wait and not drive the car yet because Daddy's seatbelt hasn't been fastened yet. Okay, okay, I got it! Right now we're working on the "Don't use too much toilet paper because it'll break the toilet, okay honey?" lesson.
Closing the downstairs powder room door is a biggie for her, and one for which I don't believe I've ever given her reason to feel that need. I'm thinking that she's seen us do it often, which is reason enough for her.
Changing her underwear twice a day...well, I have no idea about that one... Any time there's a clothing change, it has to include underwear. Or she has a whiny little fit, eyes squinched, feet stomping, arms crossed... Do I give in? Well, unless I can provide a compelling reason not to let her change, yes.
There was a scene in Monica and David that both Steve and I call back to memory often. Monica and David were making their bed, carefully, neatly. When it came time for them to place the little decorative pillows on top of the spread, there was an urgent back and forth between the two of them, one moving the pillow into a position they thought was perfect, the other tugging it back just slightly into what they thought was the right place. Samantha does that when she helps me make our bed. If I move it to where I want it, she jumps in and quickly edges it back, just. so.
Consistency. Order. Object Permanence, perhaps. Control.
Such important concepts that shape the brains of our children.
Is this a bad thing? Nah. Well, not unless it starts to get in the way of daily functioning or leads to anxiety. Applying reason to the situations may help mitigate some of the less-desired behaviors, but for now, I'm going to pick my battles and enjoy the nice, (mostly) tidy room with Samantha's name on the door.
What has your experince been with OCD and your child with Down syndrome?
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Educating the Masses (A Quick World Geography Lesson...)
So today I'm gonna do my husband a little favor and give my fellow Americans a quick lesson in World Geography (Rochelle, let Jason know this is for him, too!). I won't say why I'm bringing this up today, but let's just say I'm reasonably certain that this is not being taught properly in American schools, threatening to ruin our long-standing relationship with our closest ally.
I am talking about the United Kingdom and all of its parts. If we fall out of favor, what would we do without Masterpiece Theater? Posh and Becks? Cadbury? Dr. Who? Madonna? And do you have any idea just how many of the television shows we produce ourselves in the US were actually based on shows previously and originally created by the folks across the pond? What on earth would we do without those? I think we'd be forced to revert to new programming, the likes of Starsky and Hutch, Man from Atlantis, Happy Days...
So, in an effort to promote peace, here we go...
England, Scotland, Northern Ireland, Wales and Ireland (Eire) are all countries. That's right, folks, they are each separate and individual countries.
Great Britain is comprised of England, Scotland and Wales.
The United Kingdom is actually a "sovereign state" (don't worry, that won't be on the quiz...), more formally known as The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
Still with me here?
Ireland (Eire) is a completely separate country, not in the United Kingdom.
Okay?
Now, just to reiterate and check for understanding:
* England is a country. Here is the flag of England (the symbol is known as the St. George's Cross):
* Scotland is a country. Here is the flag of Scotland:
_svg.png)
I am talking about the United Kingdom and all of its parts. If we fall out of favor, what would we do without Masterpiece Theater? Posh and Becks? Cadbury? Dr. Who? Madonna? And do you have any idea just how many of the television shows we produce ourselves in the US were actually based on shows previously and originally created by the folks across the pond? What on earth would we do without those? I think we'd be forced to revert to new programming, the likes of Starsky and Hutch, Man from Atlantis, Happy Days...
So, in an effort to promote peace, here we go...
England, Scotland, Northern Ireland, Wales and Ireland (Eire) are all countries. That's right, folks, they are each separate and individual countries.
Great Britain is comprised of England, Scotland and Wales.
The United Kingdom is actually a "sovereign state" (don't worry, that won't be on the quiz...), more formally known as The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
Still with me here?
Ireland (Eire) is a completely separate country, not in the United Kingdom.
Okay?
Now, just to reiterate and check for understanding:
* England is a country. Here is the flag of England (the symbol is known as the St. George's Cross):
* Scotland is a country. Here is the flag of Scotland:
* Wales is a country. Here is the flag of Wales:
_svg.png)
* Contrary to what many, many people think, this is NOT the flag of England:
It is the flag of the United Kingdom (hint: see how it contains elements of the flag of England and the flag of Scotland? Wales is not represented due to factors in play at the time the flag was designed...).
I think it's time we begin to practice Country First language. England is a country. A person from England is English first, British second. Call Steve British, and he'll be quick to correct you, to tell you he's English. Why shouldn't he be allowed to feel pride in his country? Sometimes we Americans can be pretty self-centered to think that downplaying the importance of someone else's national origin shouldn't be offensive to someone. I won't even go into the cringe-worthy pain and offense he feels when people think it's funny to mimic his accent. It's not.
In teaching school children, I think this distinction should be made. It doesn't have to be a complicated lesson, but it does have to be something that is understood.
'nuff said.
Okay, now, back to your regularly-scheduled airing of the Golden Globes...
Monday, February 6, 2012
Hearing Our Voices
Let's face it, there just isn't enough money for everything. Needing more money for things, tangible or otherwise, is just a fact of life, unless you're some sort of mega-star bleeding enough cash to pretty much close off the entire maternity ward during the birth of your beloved daughter or trick out a new babymobile with enough bling to be seen from Jupiter (Beyonce, you know I'm talkin' about you...).
County public school systems are no exception to the need for money, and the need for bucks at the County level affects so, so many people in a rather abrupt trickle-down effect. Perhaps spalsh-down effect would be more accurate. Our county announced recently that it was considering cuts to the Special Education teachers' salaries. One such cut would involve reducing the hours-per-day of the Special Education classroom aides to make them ineligible for benefits. These aides are incredibly valuable and brilliant resource teachers here, most of whom do what they do because they love the job of working with the children, not because they're making much money, which they're not. The result of the cut would force many of these teachers to resign, causing less classroom support and making self-contained classrooms an ever-present, proliferating wave of the future, making an archaic jump backwards, away from inclusive classroom settings, and stunting so much of the progress of the last 20 years.
Last Tuesday the School Board opened their doors to an evening of public comment at one of their meetings. This was the last opportunity for people to speak out in front of the Board before the decision is made. Now as much as I, personally, would have loved to have attended, Steve and I discussed it and decided that he should go and speak. I'm way too shy and know I would have instantly balked, and having a man, a father, get up there and speak out for his little girl also would likely make a bigger impact. He called and got himself on the speaker's list, at number 53.
The audience was comprised of approximately 400-500 people - teachers, educators, parents, etc. He was a little dismayed to see very few parents there speaking out against Special Education cuts - the bulk of the speakers were bus drivers, another group being similarly affected. He left after he spoke, and there were many speakers still to come, but of the 53, only about 10 were there regarding Special Ed.
He got oohs and ahhs when he showed a blown-up and laminated photo of Sammi from her preschool graduation, and had a house-full of silent applause, arms waving furiously in the air, when he finished. He was followed out by a reporter from a local NPR affiliate radio station and briefly interviewed, the audio of which aired the next morning, missed by us but heard and recounted back to me by a friend.
Below is his basic speech that he gave, minus some effective ad-libbing, at which he tends to shine. He has also sent an e-mail to the Board, something I am hoping all those who were absent or who did not speak that night have done.
This is a picture of my daughter, Samantha Elizabeth Bates. Remember that name, because given the opportunity through education, she may be able to achieve things that would not have been possible without the dedicated Special Education teachers and aides in (this) County. Please do not restrict my daughter's education by cutting any of the positions currently occupied and by not supporting other proposed positions.
My daughter did not choose to be born with Down syndrome, but she *does* choose to participate alongside her peers in reading, writing, playing and learning. This would not be possible without the support and love of the great team of special educators involved in Samantha's life.
Samantha and students like her have the right to be given the chance to fulfill their potential. Not just part way, but to the limit of what they are capable of achieving. Samantha loves to read books, she loves to learn her numbers and letters. She loves to play doctor and has told us numerous times that she wants to *be* a doctor. That may not be a realistic option, but at least give her the chance to try, and don't restrict her education because of money and statistics. You have the opportunity to make the lives of these students exciting and less restrictive. They will have many challenges throughout their time in the school system. With your help, they may just surprise you all. I'm going to go now, so my daughter can read *me* a bedtime story.
Thank you for your time.
For those of you who live in this county and were not able to make it to that meeting, you can still submit an e-mail to the School Board. Do it today!! - I think tomorrow is decision-time... Fingers crossed...
County public school systems are no exception to the need for money, and the need for bucks at the County level affects so, so many people in a rather abrupt trickle-down effect. Perhaps spalsh-down effect would be more accurate. Our county announced recently that it was considering cuts to the Special Education teachers' salaries. One such cut would involve reducing the hours-per-day of the Special Education classroom aides to make them ineligible for benefits. These aides are incredibly valuable and brilliant resource teachers here, most of whom do what they do because they love the job of working with the children, not because they're making much money, which they're not. The result of the cut would force many of these teachers to resign, causing less classroom support and making self-contained classrooms an ever-present, proliferating wave of the future, making an archaic jump backwards, away from inclusive classroom settings, and stunting so much of the progress of the last 20 years.
Last Tuesday the School Board opened their doors to an evening of public comment at one of their meetings. This was the last opportunity for people to speak out in front of the Board before the decision is made. Now as much as I, personally, would have loved to have attended, Steve and I discussed it and decided that he should go and speak. I'm way too shy and know I would have instantly balked, and having a man, a father, get up there and speak out for his little girl also would likely make a bigger impact. He called and got himself on the speaker's list, at number 53.
The audience was comprised of approximately 400-500 people - teachers, educators, parents, etc. He was a little dismayed to see very few parents there speaking out against Special Education cuts - the bulk of the speakers were bus drivers, another group being similarly affected. He left after he spoke, and there were many speakers still to come, but of the 53, only about 10 were there regarding Special Ed.
He got oohs and ahhs when he showed a blown-up and laminated photo of Sammi from her preschool graduation, and had a house-full of silent applause, arms waving furiously in the air, when he finished. He was followed out by a reporter from a local NPR affiliate radio station and briefly interviewed, the audio of which aired the next morning, missed by us but heard and recounted back to me by a friend.
Below is his basic speech that he gave, minus some effective ad-libbing, at which he tends to shine. He has also sent an e-mail to the Board, something I am hoping all those who were absent or who did not speak that night have done.
This is a picture of my daughter, Samantha Elizabeth Bates. Remember that name, because given the opportunity through education, she may be able to achieve things that would not have been possible without the dedicated Special Education teachers and aides in (this) County. Please do not restrict my daughter's education by cutting any of the positions currently occupied and by not supporting other proposed positions.
My daughter did not choose to be born with Down syndrome, but she *does* choose to participate alongside her peers in reading, writing, playing and learning. This would not be possible without the support and love of the great team of special educators involved in Samantha's life.
Samantha and students like her have the right to be given the chance to fulfill their potential. Not just part way, but to the limit of what they are capable of achieving. Samantha loves to read books, she loves to learn her numbers and letters. She loves to play doctor and has told us numerous times that she wants to *be* a doctor. That may not be a realistic option, but at least give her the chance to try, and don't restrict her education because of money and statistics. You have the opportunity to make the lives of these students exciting and less restrictive. They will have many challenges throughout their time in the school system. With your help, they may just surprise you all. I'm going to go now, so my daughter can read *me* a bedtime story.
Thank you for your time.
For those of you who live in this county and were not able to make it to that meeting, you can still submit an e-mail to the School Board. Do it today!! - I think tomorrow is decision-time... Fingers crossed...
Friday, February 3, 2012
Olivia Goes to School
Yay! I stuck to the plan I gave myself last week, and actually saw the memo about today being Take-Your-Stuffed-Animal-to-School-Day! Much to my chagrin, it was in a massive stack of papers that came home with her on Monday, including a report card (can't miss that one...), a list of her classmates' names for Valentines Day cards, and some random, assorted, pulverized and pounded small trees...
So yesterday, with Samantha in enthusiastic agreement, we decided Olivia would join her today. Olivia-who-never-wears-clothes. But today, because she was going out in public, Samantha agreed also to keep the little pig's clothes on. For modesty, you know? After somedumpster-diving digging through the large pink bin of random, assorted doll clothes, I found the missing garments, and voila, she was presentable once again.
Yesterday Sammi took Scat Cat, the new book Gramma and Grampa gave her, with her to school, along with some instructions by Mommy and Daddy for her to attempt to get up in front of the class to read it to everyone. Little by little we've been working with her teachers on eliminating her fear of group-participation activities. I'm still a bit baffled, though, as to how this gregarious, loquatious (I'll never forget, that was one of my 6th Grade new words of the day! Thank you, Mrs. Horner!), outgoing little social butterfly can clam up when it's her turn to do something in front of her classmates. Even in small groups. *sigh* So yesterday, at the teacher's prompting, Sammi got out of her seat, took the book, got into the rocking chair that's used for storytime, looked up...and saw the shining faces of her classmates. And stopped dead in her tracks. Okay, so it's a first step, right? Someone on Facebook (thanks, Beth!) suggested that perhaps she could try reading to one of her stuffed animals in the classroom, thus shifting her focus to the doll. Well, with today being Bring-Your-Stuffed-Animal-to-School-Day, that was a perfect and timely suggestion! I mentioned it to the teacher this morning, and she thought it was a good one, too.
So yesterday, with Samantha in enthusiastic agreement, we decided Olivia would join her today. Olivia-who-never-wears-clothes. But today, because she was going out in public, Samantha agreed also to keep the little pig's clothes on. For modesty, you know? After some
Yesterday Sammi took Scat Cat, the new book Gramma and Grampa gave her, with her to school, along with some instructions by Mommy and Daddy for her to attempt to get up in front of the class to read it to everyone. Little by little we've been working with her teachers on eliminating her fear of group-participation activities. I'm still a bit baffled, though, as to how this gregarious, loquatious (I'll never forget, that was one of my 6th Grade new words of the day! Thank you, Mrs. Horner!), outgoing little social butterfly can clam up when it's her turn to do something in front of her classmates. Even in small groups. *sigh* So yesterday, at the teacher's prompting, Sammi got out of her seat, took the book, got into the rocking chair that's used for storytime, looked up...and saw the shining faces of her classmates. And stopped dead in her tracks. Okay, so it's a first step, right? Someone on Facebook (thanks, Beth!) suggested that perhaps she could try reading to one of her stuffed animals in the classroom, thus shifting her focus to the doll. Well, with today being Bring-Your-Stuffed-Animal-to-School-Day, that was a perfect and timely suggestion! I mentioned it to the teacher this morning, and she thought it was a good one, too.
Let's see how this goes...I'll fill you all in next week...
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Bringing Charlotte Home
I know I haven't posted in quite some time about the beautiful orphans with Down syndrome that are left in Eastern European orphanages and mental institutions. Those beautiful children who deserve to have mommies and daddies, but instead who have nothing.
I also know that unfortunately, they can't all be saved at once from the awful fate that awaits them. But one at a time, even one life saved and one forever family found, makes a HUGE difference to that one.
One at a time, folks...
Charlotte is one. And her Mommy and Daddy, a family local to us, need help desperately today, in preparation for their next visit to Charlotte's country next week, where they will meet with the judge who will give them permission to be her forever family. Funding is not where it needs to be, and anything you can do to help will be so appreciated, and will help to make that difference.
Please visit Patti's blog here for details, including photos of this heartbreakingly beautiful little girl, and for some great giveaways you can win by helping out. But the best prize of all is having Charlotte safe and sound in her own bed, having her own Mommy and Daddy to tuck her in and read her a story, having a chance at a life every child deserves.
I also know that unfortunately, they can't all be saved at once from the awful fate that awaits them. But one at a time, even one life saved and one forever family found, makes a HUGE difference to that one.
One at a time, folks...
Charlotte is one. And her Mommy and Daddy, a family local to us, need help desperately today, in preparation for their next visit to Charlotte's country next week, where they will meet with the judge who will give them permission to be her forever family. Funding is not where it needs to be, and anything you can do to help will be so appreciated, and will help to make that difference.
Please visit Patti's blog here for details, including photos of this heartbreakingly beautiful little girl, and for some great giveaways you can win by helping out. But the best prize of all is having Charlotte safe and sound in her own bed, having her own Mommy and Daddy to tuck her in and read her a story, having a chance at a life every child deserves.
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